Thank you for sharing y'alls experience. It may prompt others to realize and be brave too in ending friendships with non-friends. Here's to your new, happy life together and surrounded by only beloveds!
Aug 29, 2023·edited Aug 29, 2023Liked by Incompatibility of Being Alive
I've never had a lot of toxic tacos in my life, but many years ago I began to shift from liking 'weird' people to liking _interesting_ people. None of nasty, cold, selfish, cynical, insulting, drunk, consumerist, or careless makes for interesting. Whether it's good people, good men, or good women--all the same, and I am happy to say that I have a strict two strikes policy and, therefore, zero ZEROES in my life, a subject which I wrote about in this piece →
No, It Is Not a Struggle to Find Good Male Role Models
Aug 29, 2023Liked by Incompatibility of Being Alive
Definitely a narcissist, not just "possibly." You correctly detected the core: this is a Cluster B personality disorder dynamic. Samantha is obviously a narcissist. You see it. Anyone can see it in this description. Contrary to the modern idea that only degreed medicos can see or say these things, we all can see the obvious people with narcissistic or borderline personalities around us. It couldn't be more obvious that Samantha is one of them.
Best of luck to Britney. It's very difficult to come to terms with the fact that a "loved one" has a profoundly flawed character, and that one has been in an unhealthy dance with them for years. I know it well.
Aug 29, 2023Liked by Incompatibility of Being Alive
Love the piece Michael. I had to do a double take on your title. I don’t have any...toxic friendships that is. I most certainly once did, but no more. There are occasionally toxic people that enter my life but they never get to cross the threshold into friendship. Rarely do I even need to pull the eject lever anymore. Most toxic people thrive on attention like water, so if you simply ignore them (don’t water them) they dry up and blow away.
Recovery taught me that. Thank you for reminding me how grateful I am to be without the drama.
Aug 29, 2023Liked by Incompatibility of Being Alive
This really reeled me in. We all have toxic people in our lives and I've managed to leave a few behind. Sometimes I wonder if I've been too sensitive, but then again, that's a part of the manipulation narrative. If it hurts, it hurts. Get rid of it. Thank you, Michael, for this affirmation.
Aug 28, 2023Liked by Incompatibility of Being Alive
Breaking up with a lifelong bestie may be like going through a divorce. I'm not certain because I haven't been divorced but I have broken up with a bestie. It needed to happen for so many reasons, yet it still took me about three years to recover and feel like I had fully released the relationship.
I was having this exact conversation with a friend yesterday and, as happened with Britney & Samantha, you and your old buddies, me and my ex-bestie, our values shifted and our needs changed. In an emotionally mature relationship, this will be honored and growth will happen, or someone will suffer.
Thank you for sharing y'alls experience. It may prompt others to realize and be brave too in ending friendships with non-friends. Here's to your new, happy life together and surrounded by only beloveds!
You lost me at money grosses you out 🙄
I've never had a lot of toxic tacos in my life, but many years ago I began to shift from liking 'weird' people to liking _interesting_ people. None of nasty, cold, selfish, cynical, insulting, drunk, consumerist, or careless makes for interesting. Whether it's good people, good men, or good women--all the same, and I am happy to say that I have a strict two strikes policy and, therefore, zero ZEROES in my life, a subject which I wrote about in this piece →
No, It Is Not a Struggle to Find Good Male Role Models
https://bowendwelle.substack.com/p/there-is-no-struggle-to-find-good
also perhaps relevant is my practice of Let Monday Be Truth Day
https://open.substack.com/pub/bowendwelle/p/let-monday-be-truth-day
Definitely a narcissist, not just "possibly." You correctly detected the core: this is a Cluster B personality disorder dynamic. Samantha is obviously a narcissist. You see it. Anyone can see it in this description. Contrary to the modern idea that only degreed medicos can see or say these things, we all can see the obvious people with narcissistic or borderline personalities around us. It couldn't be more obvious that Samantha is one of them.
Best of luck to Britney. It's very difficult to come to terms with the fact that a "loved one" has a profoundly flawed character, and that one has been in an unhealthy dance with them for years. I know it well.
I'm glad you two have each other.
Love the piece Michael. I had to do a double take on your title. I don’t have any...toxic friendships that is. I most certainly once did, but no more. There are occasionally toxic people that enter my life but they never get to cross the threshold into friendship. Rarely do I even need to pull the eject lever anymore. Most toxic people thrive on attention like water, so if you simply ignore them (don’t water them) they dry up and blow away.
Recovery taught me that. Thank you for reminding me how grateful I am to be without the drama.
This really reeled me in. We all have toxic people in our lives and I've managed to leave a few behind. Sometimes I wonder if I've been too sensitive, but then again, that's a part of the manipulation narrative. If it hurts, it hurts. Get rid of it. Thank you, Michael, for this affirmation.
that was quite the do-si-do between Britney and Samantha! What happened to Samantha's first baby?
Breaking up with a lifelong bestie may be like going through a divorce. I'm not certain because I haven't been divorced but I have broken up with a bestie. It needed to happen for so many reasons, yet it still took me about three years to recover and feel like I had fully released the relationship.
I was having this exact conversation with a friend yesterday and, as happened with Britney & Samantha, you and your old buddies, me and my ex-bestie, our values shifted and our needs changed. In an emotionally mature relationship, this will be honored and growth will happen, or someone will suffer.
Way to go Britney for taking this difficult step!